True forgiveness is an action that is not easy to complete for some individuals.  How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone (including yourself)? Great question. I believe through reading and real life practice that you will know that you have truly forgiven someone when you can genuinely articulate well wishes for them and their lives. In Oprah’s words,”True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.””

We learn valuable information about ourselves and others based upon our experiences and interactions whether the experience was positive or negative. The key to being able to forgive is to process experiences appropriately. You might be able to do this on your own or you may have to get the help of a therapist. Either way, do the work to heal.

How does this apply to self-care? Another great question.

I have found the practice of self-care to be instrumental in my ability to set aside the time to sit and center myself which allows me to objectively process life’s events. Self-care allows me to channel a gentler more compassionate side of myself. When I am compassionate to myself, I can be more compassionate to others.

When you are compassionate to yourself you can recognize your imperfections with a less critical eye and honor the fact that you are an imperfectly perfect human being who will make mistakes, who may not do everything they say they will do or who will sometimes say the wrong things, but at the end of the day all of these things are within your power to change, correct and develop. These are all things that you can forgive yourself for today.

What do you need to forgive yourself or someone else for? It’s time to release the resentment. Care for yourself so you can better care for others. Forgiveness is not about letting anyone else “off the hook.” Forgiveness is about emotionally freeing yourself so you can experience more life. By practicing forgiveness you are in turn practicing self-care.

Take care,

Sonya